Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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