If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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