i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
