I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
