How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
not ubering you a puppy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
