I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
