please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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