You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The adults are the big ones right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
