i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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