He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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