i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
