i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
