he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
