so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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