Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
