At least make sure they are 18
Why
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
