he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
