If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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