I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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