Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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