It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
