so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
whose ass print is on the piano?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize