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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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• (845): View more from New York

  It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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• (805): View more from California

  That bad?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  WHO DOES THAT

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.

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• (718): View more from New York

  We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend

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