I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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