I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
