I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
