btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The air was thick with penises
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
