How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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