so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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