I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
