well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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