Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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