Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
