i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
