1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
