Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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