I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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