So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
