Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
