i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
