He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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