lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
