Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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