did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
