He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
