Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
