i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
