yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
