my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
