Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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