it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
