Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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