Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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