So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
