Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
