My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
