I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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