Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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