dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
