She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I touched a dick in church today
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
