I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
