It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
