I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
