Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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